Chapter 16

"Cursed, cursed creator! Why was I even born? Why didn’t I just snuff out that spark of life you threw at me? I don’t know; I wasn't totally consumed by despair yet. I just felt this massive rage, a need for revenge."

I could’ve totally trashed the cottage and its people, just fed off their screams and misery. "Night fell and I left my hideout, just wandering around in the woods. Now, no one was around to see me, so I just let out these terrifying howls."

I felt like a wild animal that busted free, tearing down anything in my way and sprinting through the trees like a deer. Ugh, it was such a rough night! The stars were just mocking me, and the bare trees were waving their branches. Every now and then, a bird would sing, just breaking the silence.

Everyone else was chill or having a good time - except me. I felt like the ultimate bad guy, carrying my own personal hell. No one understood, so I wanted to rip up trees, wreck everything, and then just sit back and enjoy the chaos.

"But that feeling didn’t last forever; I was totally exhausted from all the running around and collapsed on the wet grass, totally hopeless. Not a single person on Earth would even feel bad for me or help me out. Should I be nice to my enemies? Absolutely not."

"From that moment on, I declared war - forever - against all humans, especially the one who made me and tossed me into this awful life. "The sun came up; I could hear people talking, and I knew I couldn’t go back to my spot that day.

"So, I just hid in some bushes and decided to spend the next few hours thinking about how messed up my life was."

The nice sunshine and fresh air totally chilled me out; and when I thought about what happened at the cottage, I realized I’d jumped to conclusions. I seriously messed up. It was clear that my conversation had gotten the dad on my side, and I was being a total idiot for scaring his kids.

I should have gotten to know the old De Lacey first, then slowly introduced myself to the rest of the family, once they were ready. But I didn't think it was a lost cause, so after a lot of thinking, I decided to head back to the cottage, find the old man, and convince him to be on my side.

Those thoughts calmed me down, and in the afternoon I crashed, like, totally slept. But my blood was still boiling, so I didn’t have any chill dreams. The scary stuff from the day before kept playing over and over in my head - the girls screaming and Felix going wild, ripping me away from his dad.

I woke up drained, and when I realized it was already night, I snuck out of my hiding spot and went looking for something to eat. Once I wasn’t starving anymore, I headed toward the path that led to the cottage. Everything was quiet.

I crept back into my shack and waited silently for the family to wake up. That time passed, the sun climbed way up, but the cottagers didn’t show. I was shaking like crazy, thinking something awful had happened.

The inside of the cottage was dark, and I didn’t hear anything moving; I can’t even describe how stressed I was.

Just then, two locals walked by. They stopped near the cottage and started talking, all wild hand gestures and everything. But I couldn't understand a word - they were speaking the local language, totally different from what my protectors used. Not long after, Felix showed up with another guy.

I was kinda shocked, 'cause I knew he hadn't left the cottage that morning. I was seriously waiting to hear what was going on. "You really think you’re gonna have to pay three months’ rent and lose all your garden stuff?" his friend asked.

"I don’t wanna take advantage, so just take a few days to think about it, okay? "It’s just not gonna happen," Felix replied. "We can’t live here anymore. My dad’s life is in serious danger, like I told you. My wife and sister are still totally freaked out. Please, don’t try to talk me into anything."

Take the cottage and let me get out of here." Felix was shaking like crazy when he said that. He and his friend went inside the cottage for a bit, then they left. I never saw any of the De Lacey family again."

"I spent the rest of the day stuck in my hovel, totally bummed out. My protectors were gone, and they’d cut off the only thing keeping me connected to the world. For the first time, I felt a rush of revenge and hate, and I just let it take over. I started thinking about hurting people, even death."

But then I thought about my friends - De Lacey’s gentle voice, Agatha’s kind eyes, and the Arabian’s amazing beauty - and those thoughts faded, and I cried a bit. But then I remembered they’d rejected and abandoned me, and the anger came back, a huge wave of it.

Since I couldn’t hurt anyone, I started smashing things. As night fell, I piled up a bunch of stuff that would burn around the cottage. After I’d wrecked the garden, I waited, trying to stay patient, until the moon was low enough to start.

"As night got darker, a strong wind whipped up from the woods and blew away the clouds. The wind roared like a crazy avalanche and totally messed with my head, pushing me past all reason."

I lit a dry branch and danced around the cottage like a maniac, still staring at the horizon where the moon was barely visible. Part of the moon disappeared, and I waved my burning stick. Then, I lit the straw, the heath, and the bushes I’d gathered.

The wind made the fire spread fast, and soon the cottage was engulfed in flames that twisted and devoured everything. "Once I knew nothing could save the place, I bailed and ran into the woods."

"And now, the whole world’s open to me - where should I even go? I decided to get super far away from where things went down; but honestly, being hated and looked down on, everywhere probably feels awful. Then, I remembered you. I read your papers and found out you were my dad, my creator."

"Who else could I even reach out to? You gave me life, right? Felix taught Safie a bunch of stuff, including geography, so I knew where different countries were. You said Geneva was your hometown, so I decided to head there. "But how was I supposed to find it?

I knew I had to go southwest, but the sun was my only clue. I didnn't know the names of any towns I’d pass through, and I couldn’t ask anyone for directions. But I wasn't giving up. You were the only one I could even hope to get help from, even though I felt nothing but hate for you.

"Unfeeling, heartless creator! You gave me feelings and thoughts, then just tossed me out there to be a freak show. But you were the only one I had a right to ask for sympathy and justice - the justice I couldn't get from anyone else."

"My travels were rough, and I went through a lot. It was late fall when I left the area where I’d lived for so long. I only traveled at night, totally freaked out about seeing another person. Nature was dying around me, and the sun felt cold. Rain and snow were everywhere; rivers froze over."

The ground was hard, cold, and bare, and I couldn't find any place to stay warm. Oh, earth! How many times did I curse the reason I even existed? The good in me was gone, and I was just full of anger and bitterness. The closer I got to your place, the more I felt this burning desire for revenge.

Snow fell, and the water turned to ice, but I didn’t rest. A few things pointed me in the right direction, and I had a map, but I often got totally lost. My feelings were so intense, I couldn't get a break.

"Every single thing fed my rage and misery, but something that happened when I got to Switzerland - when the sun started feeling warm again and the earth started looking green - really confirmed how awful I felt. "I usually rested during the day and only traveled at night when I was safe from people.

One morning, though, my path went through a deep forest, so I decided to keep going after the sun came up. It was one of the first days of spring, and even I felt cheered by the sunshine and the nice air. I felt gentle and happy feelings that I thought were long gone come back to life.

Half surprised by these feelings, I let myself go, forgetting I was alone and looked like a monster, and actually dared to be happy. Soft tears came to my eyes again, and I even looked up at the sun, thanking it for giving me so much joy.

"I kept going through the woods, winding along the paths, until I got to the edge. It was right next to a super-fast river - lots of trees were leaning over, just starting to bloom with spring. I stopped, kinda clueless about what to do next, when I heard voices."

That made me duck under a cypress tree to hide. I’d barely disappeared when a young girl ran up to where I was hiding, laughing like she was playing chase. She kept running along the steep riverbank, and then - whoops! - her foot slipped, and she fell into the rushing water.

I jumped out from where I was and, working like crazy against the current, managed to pull her out and get her to shore. She was out cold, so I tried everything I could to wake her up. Suddenly, a guy showed up - probably the person she’d been playfully running from.

"When he saw me, he bolted over, snatched the girl from my arms, and sped off into the deeper woods. I took off after him, not even sure why. But when he saw me catching up, he raised a gun and fired at me. I went down, and my attacker just took off deeper into the woods. "Seriously?

That’s what I get for being nice! I saved a person from drowning, and now I'm writhing in pain from a shot that busted up my flesh and bones. All the good feelings I had just a minute ago turned into pure rage. I swore I’d get revenge on everyone.

"But the pain was too much; my heart stopped, and I passed out."

"I was seriously struggling for weeks, trying to heal the wound I got. The ball went right into my shoulder, and I had no clue if it was still there or if it went all the way through - definitely couldn't pull it out myself."

"It was even worse because I kept thinking about how unfair and ungrateful it all was. Every day, I was vowing revenge - a serious, deep revenge that would actually make up for everything I’d been through. "After a while, my wound finally healed, and I kept traveling.

"The sunshine and spring breezes didn’t help anymore; any happiness just felt like a joke, reminding me how much I missed out on. "But my journey was almost over, and within two months, I got close to Geneva.

It was evening when I arrived, and I found a spot in the fields around the city to figure out how to reach out to you. I was exhausted, starving, and way too sad to even appreciate the nice evening breeze or the sunset over those huge Jura mountains.

"I managed to get a little sleep, but then this adorable kid ran right into the spot I was hiding in, totally carefree. When I looked at him, I had this thought: he’s too young to be scared of me. If I could raise him as my friend and companion, I wouldn't feel so alone in a world full of people."

"Driven by that feeling, I grabbed the kid as he walked by and pulled him closer. As soon as he saw me, he covered his eyes and let out a high-pitched scream. I yanked his hand away from his face and said, ‘Hey, what’s the deal? I’m not gonna hurt you; just listen to me. "He fought me like crazy.

‘Let me go!’ he yelled. ‘Monster! Ugly creep! You wanna eat me and rip me to shreds. You’re an ogre! Let me go, or I’ll tell my dad.’ "‘You’re never seeing your dad again; you gotta come with me.’ "‘Hideous monster! Let me go. My dad’s a syndic - he’s M. Frankenstein - he’ll punish you.

You’re not brave enough to keep me. ’ "‘Frankenstein! So you belong to my enemy - to the guy I’ve sworn revenge against forever; you’ll be my first victim.’ "The kid kept struggling and threw insults that crushed my heart.

I grabbed his throat to shut him up, and in a second, he was lying dead at my feet. "I stared at my victim, and my heart swelled with a wicked kind of excitement. I clapped my hands and shouted, ‘I can create destruction too!"

"My enemy isn’t untouchable; this death will bring despair to him, and a thousand other miseries will torture and destroy him. "As I looked at the kid, I noticed something sparkling on his chest. I took it; it was a portrait of the most beautiful woman.

Even though I’m evil, it made me feel something. For a few moments, I was lost in her dark eyes and lovely lips, but then my anger came back. I remembered that I’d never have the happiness a woman like that could give, and she would have looked at me with disgust and fear.

"Seriously, can you even blame me for losing it? I'm just wondering why I didn't just flip out then and there, run into a crowd, and, like, disappear trying to destroy everyone. "I was totally consumed by all this, so I left where I did it and found this barn that looked empty.

There was a woman sleeping on some straw. She wasn't as gorgeous as the girl in the portrait, but she was cute, young, and looked healthy. I thought, 'Here's someone whose smiles brighten everyone’s day - except mine. Then I leaned over her and whispered, ‘Hey, wake up, beautiful.

Your lover’s here - the one who’s willing to die just for a look of affection from you . My love, wake up! "She shifted, and a jolt of fear went through me. What if she woke up and saw me? What if she cursed me and exposed me as a murderer?"

That's what she'd do if she opened her eyes and saw me, for sure. The thought was insane; it stirred up something dark in me - not me, but she will pay. She’s going to atone for the crime I did because I’ll never get what she could give me. It’s her fault, so she’s getting punished!

"Thanks to Felix’s lessons and the harsh laws, I knew how to cause trouble now. I leaned over and tucked the portrait into her dress. She moved again, and I bolted."

I spent days hanging around where all that stuff went down. Sometimes I just wanted to see you, other times I was totally over the world and its drama.

Eventually, I started wandering toward these mountains, and I’ve been trekking through them, burning up with this intense feeling that only you can fix. We're not going anywhere until you say you’re down with what I need. I’m all by myself and feeling rough. People don't even want to be around me.

But someone as messed up and scary as me would totally get it. My partner has to be like me - same species, same flaws. You gotta make this happen.