Chapter 2The Pool of Tears

"This is wild!" cried Alice (she was so surprised, she totally forgot how to speak properly); "I’m expanding like the biggest telescope ever! Bye, feet!" (because when she looked down, they seemed miles away, getting so far off).

"Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and socks now, dears? I definitely won’t be able to! I’ll be way too far to even bother: you’ll have to figure it out yourselves; - but I need to be nice to them," thought Alice, "or maybe they won’t take me where I want to go!"

"Let me see: I’ll get you a brand new pair of boots every Christmas."

And she kept planning in her head how she’d make it happen.

"They’re gonna have to go by mail," she thought; "and it’s gonna be so weird, sending presents to my own feet! And how crazy the address will look!"

Alice’s Right Foot, Esq., Hearthrug, near the Fender, (with Alice’s love).

"Ugh, I’m talking nonsense!"

Just then her head bumped against the ceiling of the hall: she was now over nine feet tall, and she quickly grabbed the little golden key and rushed off to the garden door.

Poor Alice! It was all she could do, lying on her side, to peek into the garden with one eye; but getting through was more impossible than ever: she sat down and started to cry again.

"You should be embarrassed," said Alice, "a big girl like you," (she totally could say this), "crying like this! Stop it right now, I tell you!"

But she kept crying, shedding tons of tears, until there was a huge puddle all around her, about four inches deep and stretching halfway down the hall.

After a bit, she heard little footsteps in the distance, and she quickly wiped her eyes to see what was coming.

It was the White Rabbit returning, dressed super fancy, with a pair of white gloves in one hand and a big fan in the other: he hurried along, muttering to himself, "Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! she’s going to flip out if I’ve made her wait!"

Alice felt so desperate, she was ready to ask for help from anyone; so, when the Rabbit got close, she started, in a quiet, shy voice, "Excuse me, sir - " The Rabbit jumped, dropped the gloves and the fan, and bolted away into the darkness as fast as he could.

Alice picked up the fan and gloves, and, because the hall was really hot, she kept fanning herself while she kept talking: "Seriously, dear, how weird everything is today! And yesterday things were totally normal. I wonder if I’ve changed overnight?"

"Let me think: was I the same when I woke up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the big mystery!"

And she started thinking about all the kids she knew who were about her age, to see if she could have been swapped out for any of them.

"I’m sure I’m not Ada," she said, "because her hair is all in super long curls, and mine isn’t like that at all! And I’m definitely not Mabel, because I know, like, a ton of stuff, and she, oh my gosh, she barely knows anything! Plus, she’s her, and I’m me, and - oh man, this is so confusing!"

I’ll try to remember all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is - oh no! I’m never gonna get to twenty at that rate! But whatever, the times tables don't even matter. Let’s try Geography.

London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and Rome - wait, no, that’s totally wrong, I’m sure! I must have been switched for Mabel!

I’ll try saying ‘How does the little - ’" and she folded her hands in her lap, pretending to have a lesson, and started to repeat it, but her voice sounded weird and scratchy, and the words didn’t come out right: -"

"How does the little crocodile Make his shiny tail shine, And splash the waters of the Nile On every golden scale! How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spread his claws, And welcome little fishes in With gently smiling jaws!"

"Those aren’t even the right words," said poor Alice, and her eyes started to water again as she went on, "I must be Mabel after all, and I’ll have to live in that tiny, boring house, and have, like, no toys, and oh my gosh, so many lessons to learn!"

Nope, I’ve made up my mind; if I’m Mabel, I’ll stay down here! It’s not gonna work if they try to tell me to come up. I’ll just look up and say ‘Who am I then?

"Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I’ll come up: if not, I’ll stay down here until I’m somebody else’ - but, oh man!" cried Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, "I really wish they would just tell me to come up! I’m so tired of being all alone here!"

As she said this, she looked down at her hands, and was super surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit’s little white gloves while she was talking. "How did I even do that?" she thought.

"I must be getting smaller again."

She got up and ran to the table to see how tall she was, and figured out that she was now about two feet tall, and was shrinking even faster! She quickly realized that the fan she was holding was the reason, and dropped it super fast, just in time to stop herself from shrinking away completely.

"That was a close call!" said Alice, totally freaked out by how quickly things had changed, but really glad to still be around. "And now for the garden!"

and she ran as fast as she could back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table like before, and things are even worse now, thought the poor child, because I’ve never been this small before, never!

"And it’s just not fair!"

As she said these words, her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salty water. Her first thought was that she had somehow fallen into the ocean, "and in that case, I can go back by train," she said to herself.

(Alice had been to the beach once in her life, and had come to the general conclusion that wherever you go on the English coast, you find a bunch of bathing huts in the water, some kids digging in the sand with wooden shovels, then a row of hotels, and behind them a train station.)

However, she soon realized that she was in the pool of tears she had cried when she was nine feet high.

"I wish I hadn’t cried so much!" said Alice, as she swam around, trying to find her way out. "I’m gonna get punished for it now, I guess, by drowning in my own tears! That would be so weird! Still, everything is weird today."

Just then she heard something splashing around in the pool nearby, and she swam closer to see what it was. At first, she thought it might be a walrus or a hippo, but then she remembered how tiny she was now, and realized it was just a mouse that had slipped in like herself.

"Would it be worth it now," thought Alice, "to talk to this mouse? Everything is so weird down here, I bet it can talk! At least, it’s worth a shot."

So she started: "Hey Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I’m so tired of swimming around here, Mouse!" (Alice thought that was the right way to talk to a mouse.

She’d never done it before, but she remembered seeing in her brother’s Latin textbook, "A mouse - of a mouse - to a mouse - a mouse - O mouse! The Mouse looked at her kinda curiously, and she thought it winked with one of its little eyes, but it didn’t say anything.

"Maybe it doesn’t understand English," thought Alice.

"I bet it’s a French mouse, came over with William the Conqueror."

(Even though she knew a lot about history, Alice didn’t really know how long ago anything had happened. So she tried again: "Où est ma chatte?" which was the first sentence in her French lesson book. The Mouse suddenly jumped out of the water and seemed to shake all over with fear.

"Oh, I’m so sorry!" cried Alice quickly, worried she’d hurt the poor animal’s feelings. "I totally forgot you didn’t like cats."

"Not like cats!" cried the Mouse in a high-pitched, angry voice. "Would you like cats if you were me?"

"Well, maybe not," said Alice in a calming voice. "Don’t be mad. And I wish I could show you our cat Dinah! I think you’d like cats if you could just see her. She’s such a sweet, quiet thing," Alice went on, talking mostly to herself as she floated lazily around the pool.

"She sits purring by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face - and she’s so soft and cuddly - and she’s awesome at catching mice - oh, I’m sorry!" cried Alice again, because this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she was sure it was really upset. "We won’t talk about her anymore if you’d rather not."

"We indeed!" cried the Mouse, who was shaking from tail to nose. "As if I’d talk about that! My family always hated cats! Nasty, rude, gross things! Don’t even mention the name again!"

"I totally won’t!" said Alice, really wanting to change the subject. "Are you - are you into - dogs?"

The Mouse didn’t answer, so Alice went on excitedly: "There’s this super cute little dog near our house! I’d love to show you! A little, bright-eyed terrier, you know, with, like, super long, curly brown hair!"

And it’ll fetch things when you throw them, and it’ll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things - I can’t even remember half of them - and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it’s so useful, it’s worth a hundred pounds!

He says it kills all the rats - oh no! cried Alice in a sad tone, I’m afraid I’ve upset it again! Because the Mouse was swimming away from her as fast as it could, making a big splash as it went.

So she called softly after it, "Mouse dear! Please come back, and we won’t talk about cats or dogs if you don’t like them!" When the Mouse heard this, it turned around and swam slowly back to her.

Its face was super pale (with anger, Alice thought), and it said in a low, trembling voice, "Let’s get to the shore, and then I’ll tell you my story, and you’ll understand why I hate cats and dogs."

It was time to go, because the pool was getting really crowded with all the birds and animals that had fallen in: there was a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and lots of other strange creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole group swam to the shore.